That’s my attempt at Jamaican Patois. You’re welcome.
The first time I went to Negril I kept hearing about Niah’s patties. You must try Niah’s patties. But nobody could quite tell me where to find this Niah and his patties. And I was lazy. So I never did find Niah’s patties. The second time I went to Negril I was starving. As usual. And I randomly asked somebody at CoCo La Palm if they had patties and they said to go to Wavz. He has them there. So I went down the beach to Wavz. Didn’t see anybody who looked like they had anything other than jewelry or wood carvings and then I saw a little ordering type window open on this beach hut. Went over to check it out. Asked if he had patties. He looked at me like I was crazy and said yes. So I ordered one. Then along came some sunburned guy who wanted to place an order and he said ‘Hi Niah’. And I was like WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE NIAH?!?!??! I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR AGES!!!! OH MY GOD ES UN MILAGRO!!! If you haven’t been looking for him I suggest you start. He’s located in Wavz Art Complex next to Tony’s Beach Hut. Almost smack dab in the middle of 7 mile beach. If his window is open and you can’t find him you can ask Milton or Grace Ann at Tony’s if they know his whereabouts and they’ll most certainly help you out. He’s a Rasta so his patties have little or no salt in them and they’re delicious. Fresh and delicious and made with nothing but love. And balance! And Niah is amazing. One of the coolest people you’ll ever meet. So be sure to stop by next time you need a snack and you’re on the beach in Negril, mon.
Respect. And balance!!!